Finding Purpose Through Adversity: A Journey of Intentional Life Design

The concept of "Being Intentional in Life Design" resonates profoundly in the context of overcoming adversity and finding purpose. 

After enduring two life-threatening surgeries, a car accident that, by rights, should have killed me, and a heart aneurysm that definitely would have killed me, there emerged a persistent and overwhelming thought: there must be a reason I was this lucky to survive, and what do I do with my life now? 

This led to a profound journey throughout my life of wanting to find a way to add value to the world. 

Yet, it is often accompanied by the guilt of possibly wasting life on inconsequential pursuits.

I confess it took me an embarrassingly long time to start putting more and more pieces of the puzzle together and to be intentional in adding value through adversity. 

This introspection highlighted the importance of not just sitting at a desk but actively contributing to the betterment of others' lives.

Change and impact from one interaction

The experiences from these two surgeries, in particular, provided a unique perspective and empathy, enabling a deeper connection with others and aiding them in moving forward in their lives. 

My hope had always been that my life and stories have an impact that is felt and remembered by others, showing that my presence in someone's life –for a moment or a lifetime– has significantly and positively influenced their perspective and life choices. 

I always felt as though I was not there yet. 

Yes, I mentored and helped people with their careers in the past or delivered insight on how to support businesses and growth, but that’s not all there is to life, and definitely not all there is to #lifedesign. 

Imagine my surprise when, during the pandemic, I received joyful moments in the midst of the madness. 

Receiving messages from people, friends and acquaintances about how I had impacted or influenced how they led their lives. 

Here are a select few. 

“I wanted to tell you that your advice two years ago about how to pursue my passion was exactly what I needed! I took the leap, and I have been running my own business since then, and I couldn’t be happier.” – A new business owner

“The reality is you supported me through some dark times. I was never able to respectfully acknowledge all that you did and who you were. I want to say that I know that you were kind, understanding, and generous with me, and it made a difference in my life.” – An old friend who is diagnosed with bipolar

“I remember our conversations and how much they meant to me, and even though I didn’t completely understand what you were trying to tell me back then, I certainly do understand now. I’ve always considered you a friend, but also as someone very strong and loving, who I’ve always looked up to. I cannot tell you how much it meant and still means to me, but thank you so, so much.” – A girl who exited the closet as a proud gay woman. 

I share them not for egoistic reasons but rather to illustrate that even when you think you are not adding value and struggling to find your own way, even if you think it is merely a casual conversation, you may be changing someone’s perspective, providing much-needed support, or giving them to courage to change. 

Every moment counts, with every person

This journey underlines a crucial lesson. 

While we may not change the entire world, we significantly impact one person at a time. 

This was exemplified for me personally a few months after my facial reconstructive surgery. 

He was driving the car for the car accident that changed the entire trajectory of my life, and he shared with me what had happened after I lost consciousness after a car accident, answering all my questions so I could come to terms with the impact of the reconstructive facial surgery I had undergone. 

An experience where the kindness, consideration, support, and understanding profoundly altered my perspective. 

He demonstrated the power of simply showing up and being authentic, honest, and open. 

In essence, being intentional in life design involves recognising one's survival and existence as purposeful, leading to a life dedicated to impacting others positively, one person at a time. 

It's about transforming personal trials into opportunities for helping others, thereby finding deep meaning and purpose in life's journey.

My journey continues, and if it is filled with messages from others of change and transformation, motivation and hope, then the surgeries were worth surviving. 

I’m finding my way. 

Design your life with intention, and live it with passion.

Important Disclaimer: This content is for entertainment and educational purposes only. Nothing in the content materials shall be considered legal, financial, or actuarial advice. Raj Hayer is not liable or responsible for any actions, inaction, or direct or indirect result of your choices and actions. 

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